Ashley's Fan Fiction Draft/Plan

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Title: Turn It Off
Central Character: Elena Gilbert
Genre: Angst/Tragedy/Drama
Summary: After the death of her younger brother, Jeremy, Elena becomes crippled with grief and loss. Now left with no family, Elena finds she can't continue on any longer, until she makes a decision that will change everything.

Show: Chronicling the life of 18-year-old Elena Gilbert, this show follows the events and supernatural happenings of the inhabitants of Mystic Falls. Vampires, werewolves, hybrids, and ghosts exist in this world, and the death of loved ones is common.

Backstory: Note: As this is a tad long, you don't have to read the entire backstory, though it may help with understanding what is going on in the fic. Elena Gilbert, who has recently transitioned into a vampire, has gone through an incredible amount of trauma in the past 2 years. After her parents death (In which her parents car crashed into a lake, and she was saved by a vampire named Stefan Salvatore), herself and her brother were taken in by her Aunt Jenna.

However, she was soon introduced to the world of the supernatural, learning of the existence of vampires (And later, other creatures). But this wasn't all she learnt. She also discovered she was adopted, her biological parents being Isobel Flemming and John Gilbert. It was revealed that Elena is the third 'Petrova Doppelganger', meaning that her blood is the key to breaking a curse which has caused centuries of feuding between vampires & werewolves. Due to her being a doppelganger, supernatural events have cursed her family and have taken many of their lives. Her Aunt Jenna; murdered in a sacrifice. Her biological parents; one being murdered by the man who wanted to sacrifice Elena, and the other sacrificing his own life to save Elena's. Elena herself, dying when her car crashed into the same lake where she watched her parents die, only to return as a vampire. Alaric, Jenna's partner and a father figure to the Gilbert siblings, also killed by supernatural causes. And finally, Jeremy, her younger brother; his neck snapped in cold blood while Elena and her friends were on the hunt for the cure for vampirism, something Elena desperately wanted due to her loathing of being an undead creature.

Elena feels both incredible grief and guilt over these losses, and this fanfiction deals with the thoughts inside her head after she realizes every member of her family has died. In the end of the fanfiction (As well as in canon), Elena decides to turn her humanity off. Vampires have the ability to do this, also known as 'flipping the switch', and they no longer have any humanity, and are incapable of feeling emotions. She then decides to burn down her house, a metaphor for her lost humanity

Plan: Set in Elena's POV, this fanfiction will be written in a unique style to represent Elena's grief. I will write this piece of fanfiction in a broken style as Elena spirals downwards, attempting to present an accurate portrayal of her incredible loss and grief over the death of her last family member.

Note: The quotes in italics after Elena turns her humanity off, are actual quotes from the show that have been specifically chosen to both summarize what she has gone through, and what led to her turning her emotions off. Also, if you want to read my current draft, go through to Draft 2.

Research:

1) Forever And Always
Summary: Set immediately after Jeremy's death, this one-shot fanfiction follows Elena's emotions after the loss of her brother, from denial, to sadness, to rage, to her eventual suicide.
Critical Evaluation: This piece of fanfiction is a very well written piece. The writing style does not flow, but rather stutters along, which suits the theme of Elena's incredible grief. Elena has just lost her last family member, and as a result her thoughts would be scattered and dark, making the writing style of this fanfic more realistic. I am aiming for this style in my own fanfiction, as I feel it would accurately represent Elena's inner thoughts as this terrible event unfolds. Though it is only short, it effectively gets across Elena's various dark emotional stages, until it ambiguously hints that she has ended her own life in an attempt to be with her family on 'The Other Side.'

2) The Final Goodbye
Summary: After the loss of her brother, Elena thinks back to past memories with her brother, dating back to when he was born, until she eventually takes her own life on Wickery Bridge.
Critical Evaluation: A tragic and angst filled piece of writing, this fanfiction takes the reader deep into Elena's mind as she deals with the aftermath of Jeremy's death. Split into flashbacks and present day, it reveals Elena's inner thoughts as she thinks back to past memories of her brother, even including his birth, making Jeremy's death even more tragic to the reader. Eventually, Elena decides to take her own life. However, during the last half or so, I found the story unnecessarily included the addition of her best friend, Bonnie. I feel that the story and Elena's eventual suicide could have packed more of an emotional punch if she had've been alone, something I will be aiming to do in my own fanfiction as I feel leaving Elena isolated will have more of an effect on the reader.

3) I'm Not Broken
Summary: Following the canon events of the death of Jeremy, Elena's inner thoughts during the events of 'Stand by Me' are revealed.
Critical Evaluation: This is one of the few fanfictions that completely follows the canon of the show. It does not deviate from what happened in the episode 'Stand by Me' in anyway, though the writer takes the reader inside of Elena's mind as she suffers a breakdown due to Jeremy's death. The insight to Elena's thoughts was incredibly accurate in my opinion, though I felt her thoughts were too refined and put together for the events of the episode, something I do not want to do in my own fanfiction as I want to stay true to my idea of Elena's characterization and her inner thoughts.

4) Lost Causes
Summary: Initially in denial of her brother's death, Elena sticks by the body of her brother until she eventually comes to the realization that he won't be coming back, a realization that drives her to end her own life.
Critical Evaluation: Incredibly dark and dealing with some horrific themes, this fanfiction follows Elena's thoughts as she deals with the initial aftermath of her brother, eventually leading her to kill herself. While it starts out with a simple sombre mood, as it progresses the tone of the story darkens incredibly as the character decides to commit suicide. In my opinion, it represented Elena's thoughts incredibly accurately, and it handled the themes of grief, depression, and suicide realistically and did not glorify it at all. While my fanfiction will not end in Elena's suicide, I want to deal with the dark themes of Elena's incredible grief and loss in a sensitive manner, as this fic has done.

5) No Trace
Summary: Jenna Sommers', Elena and Jeremy's aunt, watches from 'The Other Side' as Elena comes to grips with Jeremy's death. As Elena burns down the Gilbert home, Jeremy's ghost finally deals with his own death, and the two meet for the first time in the after life.
Critical Evaluation: A strong deviation from the other fanfictions, this one is written from Jenna's point of view, Elena and Jeremy's first caregiver before she was tragically murdered. The fanfiction uses an incredible writing technique, using descriptive language that almost makes the reader feel as if they are there with Jenna. It also deals with Jeremy's emotions regarding his own death and Elena's reaction, bringing in another point of view to this tragic and horrific incident for the reader. This new POV will help me write my own fanfiction so I can fully understand Elena's thoughts, though I will not write in such a refined and 'put together' manner as this author has done, letting the story flow naturally, where as I want mine to stutter along as Elena pieces together what has happened to her.

Draft:

Turn it off.

Two years.
That's all it took.

Mom. Dad.

The entire Gilbert family wiped out. All of us dead. Car crashes, daylight rings, stakes, neck snapping. One way or another all our lives were ended. Though I came back.

But I don't want to be back.

I want to be dead. I want to be with them.

Mom. Dad.
Isobel.

So many people to blame. So many people with blood on their hands. Esther, for creating the Petrova doppelgangers. If we didn't exist, I wouldn't exist. And the majority of the supernatural world wouldn't have fallen on my shoulders. Abby, for not letting Mikael murder me when he had the chance. Sure, my parents would've grieved heavily for the loss of their baby daughter. But at least they'd be alive to grieve. Stefan, for not letting me die in the lake. Jeremy would've been crippled with the loss of almost his entire family. But at least he'd have Jenna. And Alaric. And John. And Vicki. And Anna. He'd also still have a pulse and his neck intact.

Mom. Dad.
Isobel.
John.

But it doesn't distract me from whose fault it really is. Mine. I wanted the cure. I risked everything to get it. And because poor little Elena couldn't handle being a vampire, neither could he.

Mom. Dad.
Isobel.
John.

Jenna.

Our parents died. My biological parents died. Our caregiver died. Our second caregiver died. We were the only Gilberts left. Not that I could carry on the line. Given that I was an undead abomination. But he could. He could move on from this. Marry a nice girl (Hopefully one who wouldn’t die on him). Have children. Live the life he deserved.

And then his neck snapped.

Mom. Dad.
Isobel.
John.
Jenna.
Alaric.

I don’t know how I carried on this long. Six parental figures systematically wiped off of the face of the earth. God, the pity people must have felt for us. The poor Gilbert orphans, don’t take care of them though. You’ll end up six feet under too.

Mom. Dad.
Isobel.
John.
Jenna.
Alaric.

He’s not one of them. He can’t be. He’s all I have left. He was meant to survive all of this. He’s meant to be here.

You won’t be sad forever.

Why isn’t he waking up?

The hardest day of loving someone, is the day that you lose them.

No.

I don’t have anyone anymore.

It’s not possible. It’s not happening.

I don’t wanna be a vampire, Stefan.

I wish he hadn’t have saved me.

My brother is the only thing that’s holding me together.

I can’t go on without him. He’s all I have.

They’re all dead.

He’s not waking up.

He won’t ever wake up.

Just like the rest of them.

Everyone is dead.

Sixteen years old.

Cause of death.

Me.

Snap.

One twist was all it took.

I’m sorry you’ve lost so many people.

R.I.P Gilbert Family.

I still have you.

Not anymore.

Turn it off.

It’s gone now.

Draft Comments: While obviously this is under the 800 - 1,000 word limit, I feel that this draft needs to be a little more fleshed out. In the next draft I will be adding some dialogue, as well as not completely limiting the reader to Elena's inner thoughts. 

Draft Two: (Note: This was written after I received 3 comments with feedback regarding my first draft)

I had hope.

Bonnie, sweet Bonnie, our own magical fixer-upper. No matter how much trouble we're in, no matter how dire the situation might be, Bonnie had a spell that could help us. That could fix everything. But not this time. She speaks to Caroline and Matt about committing a massacre, about literally bringing back every single supernatural creature that has died. All just to bring Jeremy back. But it wouldn't just bring him back. It'd bring back Jenna and Alaric too. Jeremy's true love, a vampire named Anna. Matt's sister, Caroline's dad; we could all be reunited with those we had loved and those we had lost.

Unfortunately, it also included every other murderous supernatural creature, literally bringing hell on earth. Our very own doomsday.

There is no hope.

I realize it's over. I realize that my baby brother is dead. I realize that my entire family is gone. And I realize that I'm completely alone.

Realistically speaking, I really should have lost my sanity around three family deaths ago. But I kept it together. I'm not sure if it was out of a sense of self-preservation, or to keep myself together for him. But it wasn't watching my parents drown that pushed me to my limit. Or the image of Isobel taking off her daylight ring and literally burning to a crisp right in front of me. It wasn't watching helplessly as my Aunt was staked by a murderous vampire who wanted to drain me of my blood to break his own curse. Watching John die just to save my life caused me incredible guilt, but it wasn't crippling. Finding out that Alaric would die in someone else's selfish supernatural plot almost destroyed me, but at least I still had someone to hold onto to keep me sane.

No, what sends me toppling over the edge is the realization that my brother, who has been 'sleeping' on his bed all day, who was meant to wake up just like all the other times... isn't really sleeping. I run up to his bedroom before anyone can stop me. I need to see. I need to know.

His room is dark, cold, empty and void of all life. Someone put a blanket over his face while I was gone. No, this doesn't feel like his bedroom anymore.

It feels like a morgue.

Slowly, I pull the blanket off of his face. While I know now that he's gone, that he's never coming back, what I see is something I never expected to see in my lifetime. An image that will be seared in my brain for the rest of eternity.

What lies under the blanket is not my brother. It is not Jeremy Gilbert; a charismatic, loving, sweet and kind teenage boy with a ridiculously bad sense of humour.

No. What lies under the blanket is an empty corpse. It's entire body has stiffened due to rigor mortis, though it's neck is limp due to it being snapped. It's eyes are closed, though they are not at peace. It's skin is almost blue, and...

Oh god.

I can smell it.

Though it's not an it.

The body that I have left on the bed all day, for such a long period it has begun to decompose, is my brother.

Jeremy Gilbert; a charismatic, loving, sweet and kind teenage boy with a ridiculously bad sense of humour, now reduced to a rotting corpse.

I left my brother to rot.

My brother is dead.

My entire family is dead.

And it's all my fault.

Everywhere I turn, people try to comfort me. "It's going to be okay," Damon tells me. (Why is he lying to me like this?) "It's okay to have hope," Matt says. (Lies. All lies. There was never hope.) "You still have me", Stefan pleads. (You're not my family. You mean nothing to me.)

And just like that, I snap.

I force Damon to take Jeremy's body down to the living room. Stefan and Caroline tell me Bonnie has left, Matt took her home after her insane ideas of how to bring my dead brother back to life came to light. "I guess we're just going to have to do this the old fashioned way," I say blankly.

Lighter fluid.

Stefan and Caroline jump off of their seats in shock, though I'm not sure why. What else did they expect?

I pour it over every available surface in my house. The kitchen bench where I used to cook dinner with Jenna, while Jeremy sat in his room blasting punk music to drown the pain of our parent's death. The table, where once I ate dinner with my parents and my brother, before vampires and murder were a common every day occurrence in our lives. The diary I would pour my emotions into day by day. I pour it on the body that lies on the couch, an empty vessel where the soul of my baby brother once lived. A body with no purpose.

I kick and I scream, I take Jeremy's ring off of him and throw it to Damon. "He won't be needing this anymore." And it's true, he won't. What's the use of a ring that can bring you back to life, if you're already dead?

"Stop it, you're scaring me!" Caroline yells. Of course I am. Caroline, my sweet best friend Caroline. Such a naive and kind little vampire she is. She's been my best friend ever since we were in diapers, but her caring and empathy only serves to aggravate me now. At least her mother is still alive.

"What else are we supposed to do with the body, Caroline?!", I scream. "I mean, there's no more room in the Gilbert family plot!" I smash a photo of Jenna and Alaric, pouring lighter fluid on that too. Besides, it's not like they care. They're a bit busy being dead.

"Elena, stop." Stefan pleads with me, almost begs me to stop this. The look in his eyes is one full of pain and sympathy, as well as complete and devoted love for me. But I don't care. He still has his brother.

I light a match, holding it in my hand as I continue to lose control, words falling out of my mouth as they appear in my brain. "There's nothing here for me anymore Stefan! This house is just filled with memories of people I love who have died." I begin to list them, amazed and horrified by the amount of people I have lost. "Mom. Dad..." My voice falters before I utter the next name. "Jeremy." It's the first time I've said his name since I've come to the realization he is well and truly dead, and I never want to say it again. "Jenna. Alaric. John, even John. They're all dead."

Misery had become my friend in the past two years, a well acquainted feeling that kept me company during every minute of every day. But now, it consumes me. It swallows me whole into a never ending blackness that I don't know if I'll ever be able to reach out of, as I utter the next words.

"Everyone is dead."

The flame on the match reaches my fingertips, and it burns me. Without even thinking I drop it, and it's caught by Damon before it can even hit the floor. "Elena, I need you to calm down", he says in a soothing voice. My anger, my resentment towards everyone else in the room for still having living family members, is gone now. All I feel is pain.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. I can't!"

My knees buckle beneath me and I hit the floor. I'm sobbing and I'm wailing and all if I feel is pain.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

"It hurts. Please make it stop. Just make it stop, it hurts."

Not one coherent thought exists in my mind. I'm not even aware of the words that are tumbling out of my mouth. All I can focus on is the grief and loss that is consuming me, the fact that I am now completely alone in the world.

Damon sits on the floor with me, clinging me to him as my body is racked with sobs. He looks me in the eye, and utters three little words, the only three words that have actually reached my brain in the past five minutes.

"Turn it off."

My humanity. He wants me to turn off my humanity, to switch off my emotions, in order to no longer have to feel this pain anymore.

And it's the best idea that I've ever heard.

It's like there's a switch in my brain, so without even thinking, I flip it.

As my emotions leave my body, memories flood my head, in the last few moments that I feel anything.

You won’t be sad forever.

That might be the biggest lie I've ever heard.

The hardest day of loving someone, is the day that you lose them.

The pain is leaving.

I don’t have anyone anymore.

It seeps out of my body, leaving an emptiness that I'm not sure will ever be filled.

I don’t wanna be a vampire, Stefan.

God, the pity people must have felt for Jeremy and I.

My brother is the only thing that’s holding me together.

But don't take care of us. You'll end up six feet under too.

They’re all dead.

Rest In Peace, Gilbert family.

Everyone is dead.

There's only remnants left now. Soon I will be empty. Soon I will be free.

Snap.

One twist was all it took.

I’m sorry you’ve lost so many people.

I'm sorry you lost your life.

I still have you.

Two years.
That's all it took.

The entire Gilbert family wiped out. All of us dead.

Even me. Because I'm no longer Elena Gilbert anymore. I'm a living corpse with not one emotion inside of her body.

Turn it off.

It's all gone.